The Skies Are Crying

Ever since I was little, of all the holidays that came during the year, my favorite were Eid-ul-Fitr (end of Ramadan) and Independence Day.

Eid-ul-Fitr was my favorite because there was henna on my hands, everything was colorful, I got to see family and friends, and most importantly I knew that every adult I ran into would be showering me with money. It was a time of rejoice and innocence, forgiveness and camaraderie – what was there not to love? On a similar note, I loved Independence Day, because no matter where the fireworks were, we would see them. We would have the sparklers, and the BBQ and the family or neighbors or friends all together, no matter where they were from. Even if the BBQ and fireworks were seen from the backyard, waving to the neighbors who were doing the same, would give a sense of unity. Seeing the fireworks and being amongst a sea of diverse strangers all united to celebrate freedom, was something, even as a child who didn’t understand the full import, made me happy.

Today is Independence Day and the day brings the promise of Eid-ul-Fitr the day after tomorrow. By all accounts, I should be over the moon happy...my two favorite holidays, back to back!

But I am not.

Instead, I sit looking out the window and see a day full of gray clouds and steadily falling rain. Normally, I love weather like this, because I love the peace it brings being able to watch the earth being washed clean. But today…today, I don’t feel the peace of things being washed. Today, I don’t feel the unity of freedom. Today, I don’t feel the anticipation that tomorrow is a bright shining day. Today, it feels like the skies are crying.

The skies are crying for Turkey, Bangladesh, Baghdad, and Medina.

For Florida, Minnesota, and Ohio.

For Chicago, Houston, and Brooklyn.

Along with the skies, today there are many that are cyring. Ever the optimist who looks for the silver lining, today even I'm beat-up. Today, I can't find the happy ending. So today, along with the skies, I cried.

I cried over the heartache of those who have lost their loved ones in Turkey and Baghdad.

I cried for the loss of Faraaz Hossain, Abinta Kabir, Tarishi Jain and the other victims of Dhaka.

I cried for the boys in Brooklyn who were savagely beaten up while doing community service.

I cried for the Hijabi sister in Chicago who was beaten by the police.

I cried for the doctor who got shot on his way to the mosque.

I cried because I thought about the after effects each of these events will have on the survivors, family members, and on those who hear these events and can relate with them.

I cried because, for the first time, I fully believe that this wasn’t something that happened to others in parts unknown.

I cried because, for the first time, I fully believe any of those victims could have been something that hit home, right here, to my friend, my family member, my kids, or even me.

I cried because, for the first time, today, i feel fear. Fear of a world gone totally amuck.

So then how do I celebrate this week? How do I celebrate Independence Day when I am not feeling free? How do I celebrate Eid when I know there are Muslims who will be buried on this day of festivities? How do I convince myself that things will get better? How do I come up with answers when there are none?

With so many unanswered questions, so many hearts bleeding, and so many fearful around the world, is it any wonder then that today, the skies are crying?